Campaign Story

My name is Jessica (Jess), and I’m a single woman living in Virginia. When we think about the journey to parenthood, we usually think about a couple getting married and then deciding to have a child, and nine months later they welcome a beautiful baby. For the lucky ones, that’s exactly how it happens. But not all things in life follow a linear path. My path has become one that isn’t something I dreamed about as a child. I’ve always wanted to become a mom and a wife and to have a big family. I’m a wonderful aunt to my sweet nephew, and his birth was the best day of my life. I can only imagine how much becoming a mom would create so much happiness in my family and for me. My nephew would finally have someone to be around with him when all of the rest of us have passed on.

Unfortunately though, I’m facing the reality of turning 40 years old in a few months and being single and childless. Not exactly what I pictured for myself growing up, but it is the reality I am now facing. Not only do I not have a significant other, I have had PCOS since college and an autoimmune disease. After consulting with a reproductive endocrinologist, my only option to have a child, whether it’s alone as a single mother or as a couple, is I would have to have IVF.

After months of grieving the life I had always dreamed of, I decided to become or try to become a single mom by choice (SMBC). So earlier this year I had one egg retrieval, and it had resulted in two embryos. My doctor said that with my other health issues (autoimmune disease), two won’t be enough to result in a viable pregnancy. My insurance pays nothing for IVF, and thus far I have spent upwards of $23,000 out of pocket towards those two embryos.

The challenges I have faced with this journey are numerous. Not everyone supports becoming a SMBC. While my parents and sister are on board with my decision, not all of my family is. This is the hardest journey I have taken in my life thus far—the uncertainty and the heartbreak of finding out IVF is my only option, grieving the life I thought I would live, the lack of support from family and friends, and now the financial burden of trying to raise enough funds to cover IVF alone while not bankrupting myself so that I can be financially ready to welcome a child into my life.

It’s humbling having to ask for help—financial and emotional/moral support. I’ve been used to being independent and single for so long that I have come to rely on just myself. I also work in healthcare, and I am so accustomed to helping and taking care of others, often at the sacrifice of myself, that asking for help isn’t something I am accustomed to. But we all need some help sometimes, and we all need others to walk beside us during tough times.

With that being said, in order for my journey to hopefully result in a child, I need some financial help and words of encouragement. If you are able to contribute, anything is appreciated, and I will be forever grateful. Let’s hopefully make my dream come true together of becoming a mother!